As we near the point of Jesus’ crucifixion in the Bible the conversations between Him and His disciples seem to intensify. Jesus knows that His time is short and He has a lot to communicate. One of the conversations He has in the book of Matthew is a particularly interesting one.

Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:“‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”“Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same. Matt 26:31-35

I’ve often imagined Jesus being disappointed, frustrated, and perhaps slightly dismissive when He is having this conversation. He knows what is going to happen. He knows how they will react, and He is finding it all a little frustrating. I’ve also wondered if He held a hope that they might not choose to fall away. One some level I’ve presumed that this was some kind of intervention. My long held perceptions ‘could’ of course be correct but what if I am wrong.

What if I’ve misunderstood this for years?

What if Jesus wasn’t frustrated when He was communicating with them, but was simply preparing the way of redemption and forgiveness for the guilt they would feel when they fell away? Could this have been why He was telling them what would happen? Or was He frustratedly trying to prevent it from happening as I’ve always thought?

Of course the disciples did not think they would fall away. They did not think they would require redemption or forgiveness. They were adamant, especially Peter, that they would stick by Jesus no matter what. If we’ve read the Bible before we will know that Jesus was correct and they did in fact leave Him. In fact just after He was arrested we read

……Then all the disciples deserted him and fled. Matt 26:56b

This new thinking has made me wonder how Jesus felt in this moment? Previously I’ve thought that He would have disappointed or frustrated. That He was gutted that His warnings hadn’t been heeded. But what if He felt compassion for them in that moment? Was He feeling for them because He knew the pathway of redemption that they would now have to walk. Was He thinking of how He would restore Peter and deal with the guilt he would have felt?

Some of these questions will be reserved for when I see Jesus face to face but when I look at how Jesus did restore Peter I think that my long held views are not as correct as some of my newly formed ideas.

Jesus chooses to restore Peter in a way that would be familiar to Peter. He meets him by the sea shore after Peter has had an unsuccessful fishing trip. Jesus’ appearance was different in some way, which is another question I have, but the way that He reveals himself to them is through a miracle that they saw Him do right at the beginning. They’ve just come back from an unsuccessful overnight fishing trip and when He sees them He instructs them to throw the nets to the other side of the boat. This was the moment for them.

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. John 21:7

We don’t know what Peter said when He first got to Jesus, John wasn’t there to record that. We don’t even fully hear what they talked about as they ate breakfast together, but we do what they talked about afterwards.

It seems like Jesus and Peter went for a walk after they had eaten, my guess is Jesus wanted to restore Him in private, away from the others. On their walk Jesus asks Peter whether or not He loved Him. In fact He asks him 3 times, not because Peter’s first two answers were unsatisfactory, but most likely because Peter denied Jesus 3 times and Jesus was reversing the process. Then to finish the restoration Jesus asks Peter to follow Him, echoing how they first started their journey together.

If all Jesus’ talk with the disciples prior to His arrest were warnings and out of a frustration I wonder if the restoration would have looked like this. Would Peter have responded differently? Would Jesus have show more frustration? Would there have been more “i told you so” type conversations? It’s hard to tell right, I mean at the end of the day it is Jesus, He operated differently than every human who ever lived.

My gut is He wasn’t frustrated with them, with Peter, and that His heart was always towards restoration not annoyance. This helps me as I navigate my relationship with Jesus. He already knows I will drop the ball from time to time, and whilst I would rather not do that, the fact that his forgiveness and restoration is always available to me is one of the greatest gifts.