I’ve always been one of those people who have been slow to sense the presence of God. I’ve been in many worship services or prayer meetings where others have been visibly experiencing the presence of God while I’ve been standing there like a stone wondering what I’m missing. It’s not that I’ve doubted God’s presence is there because He has promised us that He is everywhere and just for extra assurance He tells us that where 2 or 3 are gathered in His name that He is present.

I know this is true it’s just that I don’t always feel it.

It’s worth saying that I’ve had some incredible moments where I have physically experienced God. Whether it’s been a feeling of deep peace, a weight on my body, laughter, speaking in tongues, shedding tears, or on one occasion getting completely swept off my feet and was sent crashing to the floor, I’ve know what that feels like. It’s just that maybe these experiences have happened 5% of the time I’ve been praying/worshipping/soaking and in the other 95% I’ve ‘felt’ very little. (my percentages may be way off here but it’s what I’m feeling in this moment!)

This reality caused me to question myself a lot in my early years of following Jesus in more charismatic settings.

I remember early on talking to my sister in law about this. The reason I asked her is that she was someone I knew who loved Jesus deeply and it was evident from her life that she was becoming more like Jesus. I say that because part of my theory as to why I wasn’t having more physical manifest experiences of God was because I must be sinning too much! I knew my sister in law wasn’t likely to be having this problem (she is a lot more saintly!) but as I watched her in services, ministry or prayer times I didn’t often see her visibly experiment Jesus either. When I asked her about it she was so helpful. She explained that like me there weren’t lots of moments where she ‘felt’ something incredible happening but she ‘knew’ God was there and He was at work in her so whether she felt it or not. She would often pray “Lord, I receive whatever it is you are doing whether I can feel it or not.” The practise of being aware of God without feeling Him had led her to a place of obedience and faith.

I was blown away by that and her advice clearly stuck with me because I continue to try and do the same thing. I still love it when I do experience God in more physical ways but regardless of the ‘experience’ my posture must be the same. We should never chase an experience but chase the one we want to experience most.

One of the things that has prompted this post was a book I am reading at the minute. The author was talking about the moment in the scriptures where King David and the Israelites are bringing the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem. It was quite a scene. David was dancing before the presence of God, leading the way, the people lined the city celebrating the return of God’s presence among them. The point the author was making was that in that moment the presence of God wasn’t available to them like we can experience today with the Holy Spirit. God’s presence to humanity was most often experienced in a specific place or through anything where He had chosen to rest – just like the Ark. These people weren’t celebrating and dancing in this moment because they felt the presence of the Lord and were overcome. No, they were celebrating and dancing because they knew the presence of the Lord was returning to them. They hadn’t received it yet but they knew they would. The author said this;

Some dance when they feel the presence of the Lord and some dance because they know His presence regardless of feeling. We must celebrate in the reality of His promise not the reality of our circumstances

Boom – I absolutely love that! What else can I say?

What would it look like to be people who celebrate and engage with the Lord because we know He is there regardless of what we feel. What if when we showed up in our everyday we weren’t simply waiting for God to move us, shake us and turn us upside down, but instead declared that He is real, He is all powerful and we will respond to that truth whether we feel it or not. What might actually change in our reality of experiencing God if we lived like that? What if we moved from responding to God and instead began rehearsing in expectation of His presence?

He is the goal and He always will be. Let’s live in His promises not in our perceptions.