I was having a funny thought the other day. Maybe a better phrase would be a selfish thought. I was thinking about how I’ve spent my life since first trying to follow Jesus back in 1999. By no means have I been perfect, not even close, but I like to think that I have always taken it seriously and ‘tried’ never to compromise when I’ve understood how I was meant to live and think on certain things that have come up. As I sat and thought about this journey, I was honestly fairly pleased with myself. So pleased in fact that I started thinking about how that must mean that I should be rewarded for how good I’ve been.

Yeah, I know, how silly of me but hey….at least I’m honest

Thankfully, I quickly caught myself and began the process of remembering what humility is, and I returned to a better state of mind… but the whole moment made me think. It’s not the first time I’ve thought like that, and it’s not the first time I’ve heard other followers of Jesus say things similar. We seem to think that because we have given up a few things we might have liked in our ‘old life’ that we should be rewarded for our sacrifice in this ‘new life’. We say silly things like “Does God not realize that I could be out there doing this or that, but instead I have chosen to come to church or served in this ministry?” Or perhaps we get pangs of missing some things we were into when we didn’t know Jesus that we took some pleasure from and begin to count the cost of that. The reality is if we aren’t careful with this thinking, it will form a mindset that can cause us some problems moving forward.

I’m sure none of you are struggling with this……but I thought I would jot dow a few pitfalls and misunderstandings that this kind of thinking has missed;

1 – We were saved from our old lives – it’s not like the old life was awesome. It wasn’t life-giving. It wasn’t leading us into life; in fact, it was leading us to death, and we were often miserable in the middle of it. We had no identity, no hope, no future. I’m not saying there weren’t moments of joy in it but it was no bed of roses. When we began to partner with Jesus, we experienced a rescue from all that. We were saved. We gained an identity, hope, and a future. However, when we leave that old life, it’s amazing how we experience short-term memory loss and begin to pine for certain things. Just like the Israelites craved the onions of captivity (yes, I’ve written a post about that somewhere) when they were living in the desert wilderness, we can lose perspective very quickly. This mindset forgets that the life we live today is less a sacrifice and more of a saving when compared to where we came from.

2 – When it comes to actually deserving something from Jesus, we aren’t winning that argument – even if we don’t believe we have been saved but think our sacrifice is worthy of reward, we will quickly find in the justice economics we come up very short. Jesus Christ, the one we follow, gave His life as the ultimate sacrifice so that we could live a life free from the penalty of sin. He gave up His majesty and chose to see sin up close. He chose rejection, suffering, persecution, and a criminal’s death, all to give us the opportunity for life. When I stack that up with what I might have felt I have ‘given up’, I’m pretty sure I know who wins that contest! It’s not even close to a draw! I’m also very thankful God never treats it like a contest. The reality is I don’t deserve anything. I didn’t deserve Him dying for me, and I don’t deserve anything more on top of that either.

3 – This mindset stops us from allowing anyone else to move forward. If we begin, in some small way, to think we “deserve” something because of the life we have lived, and we too easily forget that it was God’s mercy and grace that freed us, we will begin to think that it is our hard work that sustains and delivers us. In these moments, a religious mindset begins to form and we turn following into a performance of task after task. Not only does that lead us away from God’s heart, but it will also force us to expect the same behavior from people who are discovering Jesus for the first time. I’m always fascinated by how even when we have been shown so much grace, both from God and others, we tend to withhold it from others unless we deem that they deserve it. If they don’t work hard and put in the hard yards, we often refuse to offer them the very grace that we were given. This, in turn, forms a mindset in them and stalls their growth forward with Jesus. Jesus warns us pretty sternly about putting stumbling blocks in front of people in the gospels. When we recognize that we didn’t deserve it, we will begin to allow others who don’t deserve it the same grace we received.

Here’s the conclusion;

I am owed nothing.

You are owed nothing.

Jesus has given His all to us.

We are simply responding to His ultimate sacrifice by living for Him. I’m not saying that we don’t sacrifice in terms of what our old nature would like to do but we must remember that we are saved by grace.

The beautiful thing in all of this is that God doesn’t ask us to follow Him as a repayment for what He has done. At times, I have seen this used as a way to get people to live for Jesus. We use illustrations like “if a person saved you from an accident, would you not want to give them everything to repay them?” Most of us would respond ‘yes’ to that question, but that is not what God asks. He doesn’t guilt us into following Him. It’s not a “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” deal. This isn’t a business contract where each of us gives our part. God gives us complete free will when it comes to how we might choose to spend our lives with, or without, Him.

I think that is incredible.

It’s helpful to remind myself that my life is a gift to me from God. I didn’t deserve it in 1999 and I don’t deserve it now. It’s His grace that saved me, it’s His grace that sustains me, and it’s grace that will see me through until the end.

I’d love to promise you that I’ll not think another selfish thought again but hopefully when I do it next time I will remember the truth much more quickly!