This may be a controversial post, well, controversial if you are a church leader anyway.

One of the phrases I have heard many times from church leaders, and a phrase I have said myself from time to time, when describing our churches is that ‘we are a family on a mission.‘ What we mean by the phrase is that we are a people who are connected together, bonded as one, a family, and it is from that posture, that place, that we engage with the mission that God has given us. It is a phrase that underlines our intention as the church to do it together – it’s a phrase I love.

But…….I wonder if we have got it the wrong way around?

Maybe it’s something that is down to preference, maybe I’m just being pedantic, maybe it’s my missional leaning, but I wonder if we should be family first or missional first? I think I could argue it either way.

There is no doubt that Jesus calls us to love one another, to be connected. As He is preparing the disciples for HIs departure He tells them this;

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 (NIV)

This, and many other passages we could find, point towards the Family First approach and there is no doubt if we don’t love one another we can’t reflect Jesus well.

However, it’s alas incredibly clear that Jesus calls us to a missional life, a life that partners with Him in the restoration of all things. He makes this clear at the end of the book of Matthew.

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20 (NIV)

This looks to me like a mission first approach and just like in the Family First model there is no doubt that if we aren’t missional in our expression as followers of Jesus we have seriously missed something.

So what comes first?

I really could argue this either way and there is no doubt I have a missional bias but when I look at Genesis I noticed something about why God created us.

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” Genesis 1:26 (NIV)

There is no doubt that God desired a relationship with us…. but we were created on purpose for a purpose. We were created to fulfil a role, God had a job in mind for us to do. We were created for mission that would be done in relationship. I think He meant it to be mission first. Not mission without relationship but mission first.

When I think about it experientially I get why. I have been in Family First models before. There was so much I loved about them but it was definitely easy when connection is the goal to miss the mission. We get so comfortable forming relationships and being together that we don’t have the desire to move beyond where we are to reach those who look nothing like us. I totally believe that a Family First approach can be missional, I have seen many examples, but there is a missional danger here.

Is there not a danger of doing it the other way?

Yeah, I’ve seen that too. I’ve seen people so focused on the mission that they would drive or smash over everyone in order to achieve that. There’s no way that is what Jesus intended. However when you truly watch a people who are on mission together 90% of the time a family is formed in that context. Think of any mission teams you have been on where you have had to persevere to see God’s breakthrough – I guarantee some of the relationships formed on those moments were incredibly special and are the relationships we still remember.

I realise this could do with a much longer discussion but I haven’t got the time to do that here. Look, you might disagree, and I’m good with that, but maybe we need to rephrase what our churches are…….maybe we should say….

“We are on mission forming family?”

OK, I’m out – see you later.