I think it’s amazing how much we choose to partner with fear in our lives. From our earliest years fear is often used as a way to get us to behave.

• If we’re bad Santa won’t come
• If we don’t do good things you’ll go to hell
• Stranger Danger
• If you don’t study we’ll take away your iPhone

The reality is we do want to do more good things than bad things, we do want kids to be aware and not walk off with strangers, we do want our teenagers to study. The problem is when we use fear as a way to achieve these things we will see some instant results but I worry that we are doing long term damage.

I’m not sure who first coined the phrase “fear is a great motivator but a terrible master” but they were spot on. The quickest way to illicit a change of behaviour is through fear, that is why we turn to it. If I’m trying to teach my 3 year old to not run out on the road, they will be put off more naturally if I use fear of the road as a way to do it. If I’m trying to teach them to behave, the fear of a punishment seems to be a great way to get what I’m looking for.

But long term it teaches us something that is so far away from the heart of God. Throughout the bible we hear God “wooing” His people to come back to Him. He uses imagery of a husband, a lover, a father, desperate to see the one they love return to them. Whilst at times in the Old Testament He is angry with His people and does punish them, He more often pursues them out of a desire to be in relationship with them.

“I don’t see the Father wanting to scare people out of hell, He wants to welcome them into heaven.”

The longer term, but healthier way, is to teach our kids to respect the road and teach them why it is important to be safe. We should teach them why behaving well is the way they were intended to live. It may longer for them to begin carrying out the behaviour we are hoping for but the reason they will do it will set them up differently and will have better long term effects.

Every time we scare people into doing something we are moving them away from a God who beckons them towards Him.

I guess the reason I am writing about this right now is because of all the news reporting I am seeing around COVID and the relaxation of restrictions across the UK. Fear is at the centre of all the reporting. When lockdowns were brought in and restrictions were tight, the headlines were all doom and gloom about the economy, mental health, education etc. Now that the guidelines are lifting the headlines are all about how we are leaving the vulnerable behind and we are going to be killing people and allowing COVID to spread. Fear is the narrative behind the headlines whatever way we turn.

Let’s not be a people who are motivated and spurned on by fear – let’s seek something beyond that!