I was travelling to meet a friend today and because it was a longer drive than usual I decided to listen to a podcast. The two talks I listened to were just wonderful, but during the second one I heard the pastor describe something I had seen before but had never put words to.

He talked about how when we step into another’s pain, which we are called to do, we must be careful that we don’t carry their convictions out of that pain. As soon as he said it I thought – “Yes, that’s it!” A good example of this is when we spend time with people who are in poverty. Our compassion leads us to be with them, to listen to their story and their struggle. Because of the pain of their story we often find frustration or anger there. Maybe it’s towards a boss who treated them badly or just a jealously of other families who had enough. Sometimes they have built up a dislike or prejudice towards people who have money.

As we listen to their story and their struggle we start to sympathise, not just with their story but with their convictions. Before we know it, we too are getting annoyed by people who have resource, people who spend money on expensive coffees and gadgets.

Instead of simply showing empathy for their story we have embodied their beliefs

We must guard against this kind of compassion. Empathy for another’s situation cannot automatically become an embodiment of their beliefs. I’ve seen it too often in ministry – we trade in our conviction and our theology because of our sympathy for their story.

In one sense it shows a beautiful heart of compassion but it is not how Jesus operated in those moments. He often encountered people whose behaviour did not reflect the standard of devotion to the Father that Jesus required. In those moments He never lowered the bar of obedience but never raised the bar of His love either.

We must be strong on our convictions and soft in our compassion.